How To Eat More (And Better) Fruits And Vegetables So You Don’t Die

I live in Boston, which is to say that over the course of the past month or so I, along with millions of disgruntled others, have on more than one occasion found myself snowbound without proper provisions. I went to my local grocer in anticipation of an impending storm—this sounds a lot nicer than it truthfully is, as if I were going to an actual market peddling fresh, not-flaccid produce that hasn’t just been offloaded from the back of a tractor trailer by a driver whose sole objective while on the road is to see how many times he can jack off between Duluth and the nearest Springfield, and who definitely didn’t wash his hands before unloading the kale I’ll eventually pop into my mouth—and panicked.

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