Marshmallow Farming: Not Sustainable in North Carolina

Some of us are old enough remember the horrible Marshmallow Freeze of 1979. Marshmallows crops from North Carolina to Florida froze and were deemed worthless. I remember the guys standing at the freeway ramps selling bags of marshmallow’s for $10 a bag. $10 dollars! I ended up having to make my s’mores that year, using cotton candy as the cotton candy pickers strike had just ended and I wanted to support the union.  The FDA fructose committee archive will be declassified in 2029 – maybe then we’ll get some answers. It cost Carter the election, and under Reagan – candy corn subsidies doubled overnight.

This video is really misleading. They’re actually a root vegetable, and they do just fine during colder seasons. Sure they take longer to grow, but so long as the winter isn’t particularly brutal the marshmallow farmers will be just fine.  In fact, with global warming coming to bear I’m sure the marshmallow farmers will come out on top – unlike those poor maple syrup farmers who have to contend with wolpertingers devouring their maplefruit due to the scarcity of the other flora and fauna that naturally make up their diet.

In other news, guacamole dip comes from guacamoles.