Ideally you want to get into a whiskey bottle, not spend all your time reading it like a cereal box. But to ensure you actually like what you buy, it’s probably a good idea to know how to decode a label. We won’t get into the nuance of all aspects here—whiskey subjects, if you’ve dabbled into them at all, tend to inspire some serious exegesis—but we can help guide you down the whiskey (whisky) aisle with a few key terms and basic definitions.
Correction: Single Malt means that the whiskey came from a single batch of malt rather than from several that were blended. Think of a single origin coffee or single varietal wine versus a blend.
Blended whiskeys tend to be less expensive and more consistent on the flavor because the distillers can make up for weaknesses in one malt with strengths from another.
Single malt whiskeys tend to be more expensive, in part, due to the time and care it takes to get good results from just using one malt instead of blending. You’re also much more likely to get distinct flavors from a single malt (some are peaty, some are smokey, some are floral, some taste of vanilla).
Ever heard a restaurant employee shouting about weeds or fire or all day and wondered just what the hell they were talking about? Turns out, they’re not actually hallucinating,* and the random phrases actually have specific, important meanings.
This quote sums my thoughts beyond “not for 6-7 year olds”:
On the one hand, honesty and accurate terminology about their genitals and the biological functions thereof is important for kids, as Tracy Moore illustrated earlier today. On the other hand, 2nd grade teachers shouldn’t be expected to randomly and effectively teach sex ed or health…
I currently prefer “kid cannon” to most of the other vagina euphemisms.